DISCIPLESHIP, NOT CHURCH MEMBERSHIP, PART II.
(The Role of the Christians Home)
Spiritual revolutions start in the Christian home, from the earliest years. In making disciples, we must ask what profit is it to go into the whole world to preach and teach and make disciples, and then loose one’s own family? We are plagued with too many dysfunctional families whose homes are the very antitheses of what God intends. Our greatest selling point, our greatest strength and support in making disciples that will bear much fruit (Jn.15:70) is the Christian family.
Being a charismatic speaker with certain skills conducive to persuading people might equal being a good car salesman, but not necessarily a good evangelist! It is the life at home that determines the true worth of the leader. Families will expose and highlight any hypocrisy or weaknesses in the leader’s character. Hence elders were to have exemplary families in the New Testament. Can he, who cannot command the respect and loyalty of his own family, be expected to do so with others? After all isn’t it with them that he has the greatest exposure and opportunity? If he cannot build in those with whom he daily breaks bread and dwells amongst an enthusiastic love and vision for Christ, then how so with others?
THE IMPORTANCE OF HUSBAND/WIFE TEAMWORK
This starts with the husband and wife. Their close-knit teamwork is essential. Priscilla and Aquila truly set the gold standard for such unified ministry. Several churches met in their homes, in various towns where they settled and worked.(I Cor.16:19) Prisca was no “meatloaf Martha”, kitchen-bound and uninvolved in her husbands Bible stuff. Rather we see her helping her husband direct the eloquent Apollos (privately) in the truth concerning Christian immersion - “explaining the way of God more accurately.” She’s even mentioned before Aquila three out of the five times when she and her husband are mentioned in the N.T. (Acts 18:25) Paul highly praised them as “fellow workers in Christ Jesus, who for my life risked their own necks…” to whom all the churches gave thanks. (Rom.16:4-5) Apparently childless, they totally dedicated their lives in mutual ministry to God’s people. Even at the end of Paul’s life, he greets them from prison. (II Tim.4:19) Note how they used their homes and jobs to serve the Lord, such as when in Corinth they hosted the great and controversial apostle Paul in their home. How they must have enjoyed his company and teaching! Here then is a perfect example of the type of teamwork needed to make disciples in our homes.
THE VITAL IMPORTANCE OF THE MOTHER’S ROLE
Truly to educate a mother means educating the nation. From the mother comes the first lessons usually learned by the young scholars and future leaders of the Lord’s church. Her kind smiles and patient instruction brings out the innate love of learning that characterizes all normal children. From potty training to phonetics, she step by step puts the basic building blocks of education into place. While daddy works hard supporting his growing brood, she insures that not only their tiny bodies are well cared for, but that their spiritual appetite is wetted for knowing their true Creator. Reading Bible story books, teaching the first simple scriptural songs, and so forth, she tenderly gives them the warm supportive environment insuring that they gain emotional strength and social confidence to become functional adults and strong disciples of Jesus.
THE IMPORTANCE OF TRAINING, BY IMITATION, GODLY WOMEN AS CONFIDENT WOMEN
So how are such skillful mothers produced? By older women who authoritatively and positively train and motivate the young women to “love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, subject to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be dishonored.” (Titus 2:4-5) This must include their “prophesying” or forth telling God’s special word for the ladies in the congregation. (I Cor. 11:4-5) Since women were forbidden by God from authoritatively teaching men, ( I Cor.14:34; I Tim.2:12), then logic dictates that they ministered the Word to other women. Today, with no direct, special spiritual gift of prophesy still in effect, this would equal women who know the Word and live it, applying it clearly to others for their edification. Philip’s four unmarried daughters had such ministries.
Imitation is the best type of instruction.
The early New Testament church produced many strong female leaders, like Priscilla and Phoebe, as role models. Lydia would be an example of a single woman, or one married to a non-Christian, providing service and leadership to people. She and her household – all women - were immersed on the same day under Paul’s powerful preaching. (Acts 16:13-15)
Timothy’s mom and grandma were and still are other great examples to imitate: “For I am mindful of the sincere faith within you, which first dwelt in your grandmother Lois, and your mother Eunice, and I am sure that it is in you as well.” Having no Christian father, these women filled in the gap for young Timothy, who arguably, under Paul’s tutelage, became the greatest young preacher of his day who wasn’t an apostle of Christ. How great the power of influence possessed by women in their own homes to mold and provide the church her great men! Since the church is the light and salt of this darkened world, the godly women’s influence preserves the world from barbarism and moral destruction. Her moral instruction averts this world’s imminent destruction!
THE IMPORTANCE OF FINDING THE RIGHT CHRISTIAN MATE
If providing such instruction in our homes is so important, even paramount in value, then should the selection of Christian marriage partnerships be left entirely to un-experienced, virtually Biblically ignorant new babes in Christ? Should they not seek the advice of their wiser elders in such matters? Does the church as a whole have no say or role to play in this vitally important issue? Who ends up suffering the most because of poor choice selection in marriage - the man or the woman? Wrong answer either way! It is always the children who suffer the most. Failed marriages, whether ending up in divorce or not, always leave huge scars in the offspring. Not only that, but the entire church family suffers reproach – the “word of God is dishonored” – in the world. If our marriage lives turn out as dysfunctional messes, then our evangelistic edge is dulled by the poor witness provided by such unholy acting saints. I suggest that smart young men and women consult those who have successful marriages and get maximum input before jumping into the marriage bed together.
God still hates divorce! This is because of the havoc it causes all involved. Society cannot stand long when the institution of marriage is attacked, belittled and dissolved. (So where does that leave America today? Like Rome before its fall, I believe.) How can it be true, when we’re told about there being virtually as many divorces within “the church” as without? If that be true, then what kind of power has such a church? Where is the outcry for major repentance in sackcloth and ashes? What’s happening when non-Christians are being selected for marriage by Christians - people who have the divine Spirit of the Creator living with them - and are being unequally yoked? I am not calling for a railing, uncaring judgment on those already caught up in this mess, though they should repent for the poor example that they’ve set through their uncontrolled urges to marry despite clear Scriptural, apostolic injunction against it. But as with all other sins in the church, I am calling for repentance and renewal by all of us, and a firm decision to do whatever it takes to bring a new generation into the Kingdom, Christian counter-cultural alternative of courtship and marriage. Let us say goodbye to blind imitation of the foolish dating games of this world, and become sober and prudent, allowing wisdom to lead us to functional, productive marriages of equally yoked saints in Christ.
THE IMPORTANCE OF RAISING CHRISTIAN CHILDREN AS “SOUL-HARVESTERS” FOR CHRIST
In bringing up a new generation of godly offspring who can disciple the world, we need to work holistically. Carefully and prayerfully choosing life marriage partners in ministry is crucial, with input from spiritual men and women and the blessing of such.
Once this happens, the couple needs to become a well-oiled team that can productively lead others to Christ, like when Apollos was immersed into Christ by Priscilla and Aquila. Such couples can then successfully go on raise up their children to be soul winning spiritual revolutionaries for Jesus Christ. This will take team effort with other families and the entire congregation, as their whole education will be geared towards this. Everything that they’ll be taught should be in keeping with the goal to glorify Christ and win the lost.
These Christian’s godly offspring are the best trained workers (harvesters) for reaping souls. (Matt. 9:36) Truly there are so few Christian workers … so when our children opt into living comfortable lives in this world, never leading even one other to Christ, then what hope do those who are perishing in their sins ever have? If the few children being raised in Christian homes cannot be recruited and trained, then whence commeth the help needed? The cavalry…. is us, and if we don’t show up to save the day, there is no hope for the lost. We must commit to our Christian children to be soul winners from their mother’s wombs.
THE IMPORTANCE OF ALLOWING
CHILDREN GRADUALLY MATURE INTO CHRISTIAN ADULTS – IMITATION AND INSTUCTION WILL
DO IT.
Caution: In our desire to raise up godly
children as workers for Christ’s kingdom, we must not un-naturally force them
into our mold. We must allow the plants to grow by creating a good,
supportive environment. Our sacrificial efforts, carried out with evident
joy and an attitude of gratitude, for the church and in saving the lost, will
be our strongest weapons in achieving our aim. Purpose driven naturally
will people pull others into their orbit, because many are looking for a cause
to join, a reason to exist, and for leadership. People are really like
sheep, and sheep follow strong leadership. Children are really are like
lambs. They will naturally gravitate towards their parents’ desires and
interests, most times. We certainly don’t want them to “get baptized’
prematurely to please us or because of wrongful pushing by us. They need
to come of age, and be allowed to make such an earth-shaking decision by
themselves, as mature individuals accountable only to God for this
decision. Our consistent examples, coupled with strong, clear, personal
instruction in God’s Word, will do the job.
Family devotions are the strongest method to train up godly workers for Christ. Week after week, chapter by chapter and book by book of God’s Word, we can give them God’s unique perspective on all things. By looking through God’s eyes, His children can come to think as He thinks and be as He is. Parents can also help children understand our more spiritually mature perspectives on life’s issues by such family Bible times. Singing and praying together really do bring families into one-mindedness and spiritual teamwork.
Of course, being together at every possible place at different times to study the Word and assemble with fellow saints - even at the cost of some discomfort and sacrifice - will further strengthen training they receive first at home. When the doors of the church building are open, our families should try to be the first inside and last to leave. We should delight in getting together with others of God’s household of faith, in each other homes, small groups, family camps, New Year parties, etc, etc.
The so-called generation gap must be abolished! This man-made, self-created and truly fictional division between the young and the old has been devised by the Father of Lies, Satan, to divide and conquer us. Families should be close-knit and share most things together. Respect and honor should be accorded to the elders. Mentoring and instruction should be given – and happily and humbly received - by the youngsters. Music, sports, entertainment, meals, and other such activities should be mutually enjoyed. Picnics Sunday strolls, family softball games, and camping together should be emphasized. We should not constantly segregate ourselves and allow the youth to live in their own little ghetto apart from adults. Maturity happens by having interaction with adults, not with their own immature peers. The families that pray and play together will stay together. Adult disciples should impart their vision, courage, love, wisdom and understanding to their children by daily interaction and joint activities.
Once point of emphasis is this: Doing fun things together is good and essential, but doing acts of service for others as a family together is better and more important. Families should view all work as a gift from God and a service to Christ. Then they should do family work projects. Too many parents allow their little darlings to play video and computer games all day, or hang out with their friends. Are they afraid of breaking some child labor laws or what? Kids need chores to feel like they have an important role to play in the family unit and to grow up as responsible adults. They need to be led and motivated and equipped to serve their fellow man as good workers in all kinds of ways. They should gleefully engage in mission trips, family camps, setting up chairs, sweeping old ladies sidewalks, repairing homes for the homeless, and so forth. They can give money for the starving children in Africa and donate clothes for the naked. Preachers and missionaries should be their heroes and role models, not half-crazed, drugged rock stars and disco divas!
American culture is infatuated with youthfulness and with whatever is new and novel and modern. Yet the most treasured things are tried and tested and have aged well. Overall, modern man has raised a bunch of spoiled, know-it-all, mocking brats who cannot submit to authority. I am not suggesting that we go in with both fists and “straighten things out” like John Wayne. Or say: “I brought you in to this world, so I can take you out.” Such approaches, besides being illegal, won’t work! Only with 2 year olds can such brute force work, and even with them, they had better see no hypocrisy or inconsistency in us… or watch out! What we must do it to truly love our children, and teach them to love others more than themselves, and give honor and respect to all people, by our own excellent example. First and foremost we must teach them respect and honor God, their true Father. All else will then follow. Close in importance and first in actual sequence, is to teach them to love and respect their parents – that they may “live long and prosper” on this earth.
To do all this – raising up fanatical, well trained and educated disciples in our own homes –is a Herculean task, (as is getting married). So we must have great, great faith …faith that if we truly train up children in the way of the Lord and they will not depart thereof. No doubts as to the genetic makeup of our kids or other some king of humanistic psychological garbage should cloud our total belief in the potential of each one of our children to be awesome followers of Christ! The focus should be on our parenting and training skills and God’s willingness and power to back us up and make these efforts work. Humble disciples will ask for help, study and grow not make lame excuses why they cannot raise up fanatical children for Jesus.
In order to raise such children as hardcore disciples for Jesus, they will need to sacrifice bigtime! Sacrifice is the key to success in all ministry – and molding “Jesus kids” is definitely a big ministry. Adults should gladly serve their children. (II Cor.12:14 – “Here for this third time I am ready to come to you, and I will not be a burden to you; for I do not seek what is yours, but you; for children are not responsible t save up for their parents, but parents for their children.”(II Cor.12:14) See Paul’s pleading with the Corinthians, presenting his sacrifices for them as his main proof of love and motivation for obedience to God’s will through his teaching. (For e.g. - I Cor.4:8-16) We who are strong must sacrifice for the weak. Jesus made himself poor that others may become rich. (II Cor.8:9) And so forth and so on. This is true Christianity, service to others to elevate them to our position (or better yet even higher!) All this we have been told and already know. Query: How do you “visit orphans and widows in their distress” (Jms.1:27) Does this mean to just come by at Christmas with a basket of goodies? Or does it mean to love, nuture and care for them as Jesus would want us to treat our very own flesh and blood children? Does agape love distinguish and discriminate between “our” own children naturally born to us, and others who are not?
It is in Christian parenting that all the principles of love and service are properly learned. Then armed with such training in our homes, we can successfully venture forth into the world and do likewise for the lost pagans out there. And our children, having seen our sacrificial, loving examples, will imitate us. That is another reason why we should take into our homes many abused, neglected, and abandoned children. By such acceptance of the unwanted children of this world, we demonstrate the real power of Christ’s love to our own children, and save them from uncaring self-centeredness.
Discipleship, then, really begins at home. It is the total impartation of a complete shift in lifestyle, in being a “Kingdom Man” of Christ, not a “Cultural Man” of the world in which we happen to physically live. It is holistic and covers every aspect of our life. Being a disciple directs all other things that we say and do daily. “And whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through Him to God the Father.” (Col.3:17) This Christian counter-culture is the one true, perfect “alternative lifestyle” that pleases God. It is caught, not just taught, by impartation through daily observation and participation. Our first and best disciples should be our own children. Our home is the laboratory where we carry out the experiment of living this new life in Christ. Here we and others learn how Jesus is relevant and center-focus of all things in our lives. By having such an overarching purpose, families are blessed with deep bonds of spiritual unity that last for eternity.
Let’s quit mimicking the world’s ungodly, boring, purposeless lifestyles and culture, and adopt a revolutionary new way of life that elevates Jesus Christ in all things at all times and in every place. Birthdays, holidays, mornings and evenings, weekends and in-between, let us pray with our families, read scriptures, memorize verses, sing praises, and make a very conscious attempt to make His Lordship in heaven a daily reality on the temporal world in which we live. Discipleship must become a total way of life passionately devoted to glorifying our great God and Savior Jesus Christ. Only by doing so in your home can you win the world. “For it is time for judgment to begin with the household of God; and if it begins with us first, what will be the outcome for those who don not obey the gospel of God?” Let us make our household a true household of God, and judge for ourselves what dramatic and even drastic changes we must make so that the spiritual revolution starts there. Clean house. Take out the garbage. Turn off the TV, and turn on the Bible. Start now, and may the Shekinah Glory of Christ blaze brilliantly over your rooftops, as a beacon of hope to the neighbors living in the shadow of Satan’s dark lordship. Do it today.