“I will rejoice greatly in the Lord,

“I will rejoice greatly in the Lord,

My soul will exult in my God;

For He has clothed me garments of salvation,

He has wrapped me with a robe of righteousness,

As a bridegroom decks himself with a garland,

And as bride adorns herself with her jewels.”

(Isaiah 61:10)

CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE: THE ULTIMATE ACT OF FAITH?

(The Wedding Sermon for Jessica & Attah and Brittney & Jeremiah.)

Right after the terrible terrorist attack at New York on 9-11, 2001, I was scheduled to give an exhortation at the wedding of one of our Ghana girl volunteer teachers from Michigan, Karin Malinowski, our forwarding agents daughter and another special “daughter” to Sherrie and I. (To Larry Miller, who came all the way over here to ask her hand in marriage!) I must say that I briefly thought: “Is this a good time to be getting married?” Then I thought and then taught, at their wedding, that their marriage was a statement of defiance to those terrorists - that we would not be intimidated or daunted from living our normal lives as Americans. In every time and place, getting married takes faith, real, Bible faith, especially when one considers the state of the world today:

- Incredible ongoing natural disasters.

- Constant moral and spiraling social decline as evidenced in increasing sexual diseases, divorces, and an overall anti-Christian bias in the developed world.

- Flimsy economic foundations of nations that are all based on speculation and fraudulent inflationary paper money rather than increased productivity and a solid gold or silver standard.

- Increasing efforts by the United Nations to form a New World Order devoid of the rule of King Jesus and His Word.

When considering all of these things, surely we live in a dangerous world, as evidenced by an apparent proliferating and pervasive spiritual darkness and a multitude of physical dangers from terrorism, earthquakes, tsunamis, hurricanes, car accidents, new diseases and more. Thus for many of us, it will be quite an achievement to just successfully attain the Biblical four score and ten and then lie down peacefully in bed. As a matter of fact, the odds are against it.

Now if just staying alive until old age is a bit of a risky business in this unpredictable, unstable and dangerous planet, then what are the odds of having a successful, happy and long-lasting marriage? So how is the institution of marriage faring these days? How many couples ever really live “happily ever after”? Would it be safe to say that there are very few “Cinderella Marriages” out there? Factually, far too many marriages go up in flames every week, with divorce now a common modern phenomenon. Or at best, many have sadly become hypocritical shows of outer stability, while actually there’s no real inner soundness or substance. The relationship has degenerated to just “hanging in there” for appearances and because of children’s sake.

Unfortunately, nowadays not even this pretence – a basic survival mode marriage – is maintained, as many marriages totally fail. In light of these sobering realities – a dangerous world and so many failed marriages,…truly faith is needed before any couple launches into marriage. Such faith is needed for the marriages we are witnessing today, in order for Jessica and Attah, and Brittney and Jeremiah to beat the odds and create a bit of heaven on earth. And not just any ordinary faith, but great faith is surely needed.

So should these young people just call the whole thing off? After all, the great Apostle Paul himself wrote:

“But I say, brethren, the time has been shortened, so that from now on those who have wives should be as though they had none; and those who weep, as though they did not weep; and those who rejoice, as though they did not rejoice; and those who buy, as though they did not possess; and those who use the world, as though they did not make full use of it; for the form of this world is passing away. But I want you to be free from concern. One who is unmarried is concerned about the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord; but the one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how he may please his wife.” ( I Cor.7:29-32, NASB)

Well! What is that all about?? Was Paul, or am I preaching an “anti-marriage wedding sermon”?! No, but truthfully, just as Jesus told his disciples to carefully count the cost of discipleship before following him, and so too must any couple seriously embarking on the second most important decision that they’ll ever make on this earth. (Of course, first deciding to follow Jesus as a lifetime disciple, is the most important decision ever.) Likewise, choosing a lifetime companion requires the same type of “cost factor assessment” as in getting immersed into Christ:

“For which one of you, when he wants to build a tower, does not first sit down and calculate the cost, to see if he has enough to complete it? Otherwise, when he has laid a foundation, and is not able to finish, all who observe it begin to build to ridicule him saying, ‘This man began to build and was not able to finish.’ (Luke 14:28-30)

Did you get that? Jesus said, “If he does not first calculate the cost”. Is there any cost to be calculated in the decision of becoming one in Christ? Just ask all those seated here as guests today who have been married for some time, after the honeymoon is over: “Did it take anything to merge into one real bond, a team that smoothly and effortlessly works everyday in all circumstances like water flowing downhill”?

Now before we go on any further in what might seem a negative direction, remember the first statement that I made: “It takes FAITH to get married.” Much faith! So let’s now focus on faith … the kind of faith that moves mountains, commanding them to get up and hurl themselves into the deep blue sea. (Mk. 11: 23) It’s going to take faith of this type to have the perfect marriage that will truly glorify God. Any ol’ slouch puppy can go ahead and just get hitched to some semi-compatible member of the opposite sex who has a nice smile. There are plenty of handsome “hunkadicious” hunks and beautiful “bodacious” babes out there, maybe even with money and manners, to catch the ordinary eye. On the other hand, finding the right partner with which to merge into a great spiritual “Dream Team” in Christ as one new person is a completely different matter. Such a noble, ideal marriage is not for the immature, unprepared and, most importantly, those without the faith to do so.

Now, for some time now, we have rightly been teaching that before one gets immersed into Christ and becoming a lifelong disciple of His, he must be developmentally capable and willing to die for Him and to be faithful for a lifetime until death. That is not a decision for mere children! It takes real maturity to confess Christ as Lord of one’s own life. One must be physically, mentally, socially and emotionally mature enough. Paul wrote:

“When I was a child, I used to speak as a child, think as a child, reason as a child; when I became a man, I did away with childish things.” ( I Cor.13:11)

This is not to say that before one can marry, that all of these qualities must have reached full potential development. No, not at all. But it is MEN and WOMEN who should marry, not children. The actual calendar year for each person which they become adults will vary from culture to culture, age In this way marriage is much like discipleship, as one “marries” Christ, so to speak, in getting immersed and becoming the bride of Christ. It is a commitment that adults should make.

This being true, we should always keep certain wonderful qualities that children possess, such as a childlike humility and teachable spirit that should characterize the lifelong student (disciple) of Christ. But this is not a childish spirit. Being childlike is very unlike being childish. (For a descriptive comparison of childish vrs. childlike, read and compare Matt.11:16-17 with Matt. 18:1-5.) The childishness should have given way to being a full-fledged man or woman.

It is for this reason that none of the Israelites under 20 years old were allowed to perish in the wilderness for refusing to enter the promised land after the 12 spies returned with their paranoid stories of giants and fortified cities too big to attack. (Numbers 14:29) God didn’t hold them – the under 20 year olds - responsible. Afterwards, God gave them the law that only those 20 and over would go to war for Israel. Just as Jesus expected his disciples to leave their parents, and even be willing to “hate” them in comparison to their love for Him, so also those old enough to fight for old Israel had to be ready and willing to die for their God and country.

This concept, of needing to have the maturity to leave all and personally give one’s allegiance to God over man – which includes even the parents, is encapsulated in Genesis 2:24:

“For this cause a man shall leave his father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.” (Gen.2:24)

The inspired writer Moses wrote these words down about Adam and Eve, the first couple to be given in marriage by their Creator in the Garden of Eden.

“Leave and cleave” are oft-quoted words that need carefully consideration and thoughtful reflection, not just some traditional wedding vow words to be bandied about foolishly. These phrase means that the couple is mature enough to have the faith to live directly under God’s supervision and not be directly accountable to their parents or any other adults anymore. They must be able to be an “independently operating unit” - with God’s help and assistance and advice from others. They should be able to mutually and independently set goals and reach goals that only adults could achieve.

Is all this to say that young couples are on their own, to sink or swim in this life? No, we are still to encourage and help them. But we cannot run the race for them. Or carry them, except for the few times of emergency when they need special help. They must stand or fall on their own two feet.

This brings us back to the necessity of faith for successful completion of this endeavor. Faith, we know, is a picture that we hold in our mind of an unseen goal being accomplished before it is fulfilled in time and space. Thus for the goal set before Him, Jesus completed His rescue mission by dying on the cross. (Heb. 12:1,2) Interestingly, this is right after the big “faith chapter” of Heb.11. (Remember, there were no chapter divisions in the first copies of this letter.) The ultimate faith picture is that which Jesus tightly held in His mind as He firmly fixed his face toward on Jerusalem. No, it wasn’t fixed on the cross, but on the resurrection and the joy that was set before Him – our participation in glory with Him. For Jesus, the resurrection gave Him the motivation and the confidence to go to the cross and endure its shame with even scorn. In a sense, He mocked the scare, Satanic, Roman executioner’s torture instrument that would even separate us from the Father for awhile, when comparing it to the faith picture of His glorification in heaven with God and our joining Him there. As Paul wrote:

“Therefore we do not lose heart, but though our outer man is decaying, yet our inner man is decaying, yet our inner man is being renewed day by day. For momentary, light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison, while we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen; for the things which are seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are eternal.” (II Cor.4:16-18)

What is absolutely needed by these young lovers today is the confident faith of Jesus that they can endure whatever trials and difficulties they will face, but His divine assistance, and with crystal clarity, view themselves as already successfully being a mature couple. I always pictured my wife and I as grandparents, especially in our toughest moments. Seeing the grandkids sitting at the feet of our rocking chairs, so to speak; seeing ourselves growing old together will strongly motivate and assistant in sticking with it when times get tough. My great-uncle Joe’s loving care of my great aunt in her old age has always been an example I have had in mind, since seeing him when I was only 16 years old caring for my aged great aunt with such tender loving care when they were both near ninety years old. She was incapacitated, but he actually carried her, if memory serves me right.

You see, the GLORY of having a true Christian marriage is the spiritual motivation that will give us the victory. Having the desire to glorify our Lord in all things, especially in our marriage, is the solid foundational mindset that overcome the natural selfishness that so often destroys or damages most marriages. A positive faith picture of our marriage will pull us and push us over every obstacle that Satan or this world can throw up against us.

Many would say that these couples seated before us are too young, too unprepared for the difficulties that await them in adult life. They might argue that they are too poor, and need more education, successful careers first and worldly goods to sustain them. I say, in all Christian love: “Hogwash! (This translates: Nonsense) These are all nice enough, and not wrong in themselves. But none of these guarantee a great Christian marriage.
Faith is the essential ingredient. No matter how foolish this may seem to most who are carnal minded. If they all have a will and mind to work, and have some skills with which they can and will serve their God with all of their might, and have followed the sound advice of spiritual men, then they are ready enough. If they are willing to be led by the Spirit. If they will stay strong in faith and follow Christ as their Lord in all circumstances, then they are really ready to wed today. They must be mature enough to have a personal faith, Biblically defined.

Let us remember at this point that in addition to faith, hope and love, there is also a need for much grace from God and for each other. This wonderful grace is abundantly available for every relationship, and this includes marriage. After all, Jesus said that we can forgive (and be forgiven) 70 x 7. (After that though, its all over! NO!) Lest anyone is getting overanxious about being good enough or already the perfect wife or husband, remember this fact of forgiveness and grace. Grace gives us room to grow up in, and saying: “I’m sorry, please forgive me” is allowed over and over, as is the response: “I forgive you, as Christ forgave and forgives me.”

God is on our side – the side of happy, pure Christian marriages, and His awesome and wonderful gift of the signet ring, the indwelling Holy Spirit (II Cor.1:21-22), proves this.

We are not alone in this world! Hallelujah! What a reassurance this gives us!

Faith is needed, and faith is given, through the Word. Renewing the mind is the most important activity that couples can do for improving and maintaining their marriages at a high level.

In forging a unbreakable marriage bond, having the same special purpose that Jesus had on this earth – to seek and to save the lost together- gives Christians a huge edge over those with none except getting rich and being fat and happy. Consider Prisca and Aquila who started a house church wherever they lived in the Mediterranean World. Each of their homes was a church meeting hall, in whatever city that they lived. Purpose will put power into living and unity into marriage.

Just as the natural man needs food, Jeremiah and Attah will eat more than their wives will ever believe possible over their many years together, the spiritual inner man needs much food. By having the Bible, they will be able to renew and restore that real man on a daily basis. How blessed we are, as God’s children, so have such bountiful supply of the spiritual protein powder and vitamins that will build up our faith by the renewing of our minds!

Not only that, but they can actually talk to God in constant prayer, and be heard! The family that prays together stays together. Prayer is oxygen that fans the fires of our faith into a fierce blaze. Faith is sustained and built up by much prayer. That alone makes it a vital necessary activity. I simply cannot understand how people can cope without knowing that there is a compassionate, all-powerful God who will aid and assist them in times of terror, trial and sorrow! He can and will sustain you through prayer in the worst of times.

Not only is there the blessing of the Word and prayers, but Christian couples can also access godly counsel from the leaders of Christ’s church. There is no need to reinvent the wheel. Seeing successful godly marriages that actually work in glorifying Christ is a tremendous help in forming and keeping a positive faith picture for new couples. Faith is strongly aided by having actual living examples to see and follow.

Yes, the world is a big mess. Marriage is a risky business at best. Faith is needed. Yet the fact that our lives in general, and our marriages in particular, will give great glory to God must be the constant driving force, powerfully motivating us forward in Christ to the win the victory over Satan’s attempts to sabotage great Christian marriages. These are the marriages that will preach a practical, living sermon of God’s love and the unity of Christ and his church every day for all to behold. These are the marriages that the lost can only long for but never enjoy. They are for Christians only.

At this time, I want to call all those present to reaffirm your covenant with Christ. Make it your ambition to seek His glory, honor and praise, in all things. And if you are not in covenant with Him, then these marriages today remind us that we must be properly married to the Groom who is mirrored here by these two handsome grooms, Attah and Jeremiah. We are to be a beautiful Bride, just as these two brides stand here before us today, without sin, washed clean by the blood of Jesus, and clothed in the perfect righteousness of Christ by being immersed into Him at baptism.

If you are not already saved from your sins, why not come now and give yourselves to God through His Son in an eternal bond that will outlast these two couples marriage bonds. Why not give them a great wedding gift of being dipped into this lake for the forgiveness of your sins and the gift of the Holy Spirit, just as Apostle Peter instructed the repentant Jews who heard him preach the first gospel message at Pentecost. Do you know that Pentecost was considered the day that Moses (Mosheh) received the Covenant , as embodied in the Ten Commandments, at Mt. Sinai, which was considered by the Jews as the marriage of God to old Israel as His chosen people? Today, through Christ, God calls all men everywhere to repent and enter into the New Israel, the spiritual body of Christ, and be His people forever. Why not make the decision to come now and be part of the family of God? What a glorious day this would be for you indeed. The Spirit and the Bride (Christ’s true church) say COME! Come to the water, come to the Spirit, come to Christ and be saved today.